Header Ads

Who Would You Choose – A Man You Love Or A Man Who Loves You, And WHY?

On Sunday when I was casually sitting on the balcony of my sweet little house in my hometown, and weighing the choices that will decide how my life will turn out, I kept on asking myself one question.
How fucking amazing is Nutella and how I crave for some right now!
Don’t call me crazy, it was an inevitable question as my dinner was at stake (which is only supposed to be salad these days) but there was one more…

Who would you rather, a guy who loves you or a guy you love?

Who would you choose, a guy who loves you so much so that he will do just anything for you, or a guy YOU LOVE so much so that you can give anything up for him?
Don’t start firing answers right away, let’s step into those shoes.

Imagine this – You love your S.O. and he loves you back, but not the same way. NOT ADHM type, that was a terrible case of friendzone. 


Image Source

But while we are at it, let me tell you, it’s incorrect and that so called “eek tarfa pyaar ki taakat” isn’t as powerful as it sounds. Caring for someone, loving them, sacrificing for them, is a very different thing but actually forcing them to love you back, that’s uncalled for.

But here, I am talking about a girl/guy who is more invested in a relationship than their S.O. I got one, like Ted and Robin. They were in love and it was dreamy, but let’s face it, Ted was a hopeless romantic, he was emotionally more invested in the relationship than Robin. 


1 2

Since the beginning of the series, Ted hopelessly falls in love with Robin and in his head and mine, they are meant to be. But it took Ted a lot of time and a countable number of failed relationships to get to her and then, they did not work out and then they did in the end, which is another complicated story you already know has no real connection to the REAL life.
But what I am going to tell you next has.

I dug a little and here is what I found out, there is an idea in sociology called the principle of least interest

According to a definition in Wikipedia, more power in a relationship resides with a person who is least invested in it. And I quote it,
“The Principle of least interest is the idea in sociology that person or group that has the least amount of interest in continuing a relationship has the most power over that relationship.” 

In a nutshell, the UNINTERESTED/ INDIFFERENT PERSON HAS MORE POWER in a relationship. 

Yes, so the person who is least into it will control the person who wants this relationship to work out desperately. The weaker one (HINT – in this case, you), will go out on a limb to make all the sacrifices and compromises. The weaker person will get hurt along the way and will always be struggling and wondering about how much their SO loves them.
The weaker person in a relationship goes to every extent to make sure that S.O. feels loved and protected, no matter however they feel. It ruins every experience for them at times and it gets tough to talk about it. And losing them is a fear they can’t fathom.

If you have been there, you will know that I am not exaggerating at all. For a bad example, look at how Jacob loved Bella and did everything in his power to make her feel comfortable, loved… but…


Image Source

I know right, what happened there??
Also not to mention that KARMA bit the Vampire, Edward right where it hurt as the werewolf imprinted on their daughter. However twisted is that?! But that’s a story for some other time.
For now, let’s NOT make hasty decisions just yet, it’s time we take a walk in the park after stepping into those other shoes.

Imagine this – You are Robin and not Ted for a change. You know you love your S.O. and you care for them, but not as much as they love you.

Who do I take for an example here, well I have one! Padma and Parvati Patil with Harry and Ron. While Hermoine’s date was Viktor Krum.

1 2

It isn’t exactly a good example but hear me out. Hermoine went out with Victor Krum and she desperately wanted to Ron to ask her out, because she loved Ron.
For a moment here – If it just happened to be a terrible, terrible love triangle, circle or whatever it may be, Krum who loved Granger, asked her out but she loved Ron. And we know how WELL that ended. 
Hermoine’s love for her friends took a toll on her, but that did hurt.
Remember how Aditi (Kalki), in “Ye Jawani Hai Deewani” was head over heals in love with Avi (Aditya Roy Kapoor). From making sandwiches to taking care of him, there isn’t a thing that she left out to make him fall in love with her.
But have life ever turned out to be the way we wanted, ever? I guess NOT.

But Aditi did get get out it and married a guy who loved her and adored her, for who she is. And boy, was she happy! 


Image Source

But how does one make a choice? There is no guarantee how anything is supposed to work out, is there?

It’s like Jackie Shroff aka Jaggu dada said, “Love is over-rated anyway. You love my shoes and you love me.” How does that compare? 

So what do you and I do now? Dig deeper. NO!
The whole point of analysing this question was to find out what is better. And if anyone of you has the luxury of choosing one between the two in your life, I am telling you, you are one lucky person. To fall in love and to be in love are both amazing feelings.


But for me I, if at a gun point I had to choose between the one who loves me and the one I love, I would choose the ONE WHO LOVES ME.

It might make me a selfish person prick or whatever names you call me, I will pick the person who loves me because hear this, no relationship in this universe has a perfect social balance. There is always one who loves more because they are made that way. I can’t go through the pain and anxiety. I can’t be the more vulnerable person in the relationship. It might not be the most honourable but the most human choice that can be made.

Unless you are lucky enough to find a Chandler to your Monica! A relationship with perfect balance. But I am guessing it’s rare. 


1 2

But on the other hand, I think you grow to love people in your life when you start making memories and when they hold your hands through the darkness, you start trusting them and it happens. How else do most of our parents and grandparents stay together long years?
Also, this quote I read somewhere might help you.
“LOVING SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T LOVE YOU IN RETURN… IS LIKE TRYING TO FLY WITH A BROKEN WING.”
I guess you must have some insights too, feel free to share it in the comments section.
Inspiration – Quora

No comments:

Powered by Blogger.