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17 Things That Would Happen If Chandler Bing Was ‘Siri

Chandler BingWe are damn ‘Siri’ous when it comes to F.R.I.E.N.D.S. You know it!
Well, we have an eternal crush on every ‘Friend’ and we love everything about them. Particularly Chandler Bing. In his sarcasm we find humour, wits and relatability. So, it also comes naturally to us fans to put him in imaginary situations. And, the results are awesome.
Someone asked on Quora ‘What if Chandler Bing was Siri?’ and we chanced upon an interesting answer by Divyansh Mundra. It is in full on Chandler style and we are reading them in our heads in Chandler’s voice. Take a look!
Hey Siri,

1. Make dinner reservations for two at Gourmet Italia at 09:00 pm?

Dinner reservations made for two at Gourmet Italia at 09:00 pm. It’s actually right opposite to the Coliseum. Do you want me to book the tickets to Rome too now?

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2. How many calories are there in rice?

A lot.

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3. What is 25% tip on $180?

25% tip? Really? I’m poor and broke and desperate for money.

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4. What airplanes are flying over me right now?

Don’t know about the ones flying over you but the one headed towards you right now looks pretty close.

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5. Which movie should I go out to watch?

Die Hard. You always watch Die Hard.

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6. What is the latest cricket score?

I’m American. We don’t understand cricket.

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7. Call my mom?

“Mooooooooommmmmmmmmmmm”, eh! Looks like she didn’t hear me.

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8. Will it rain tomorrow?

Hey! I am Siri. That is a question you ask Google.

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9. Remind me to study at 08:00 am?

If you need reminders to study, you better drop out now. No good can come out of your life. You are pathetic and hopeless and will die as an addict junkie.

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10. I’m drunk!

The keys to your car can be found near the vase on the table to your right.

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11. Does she like me?

Could you BE anymore ugly?

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12. Who let the dog out?

Who? Who? Who? Who?

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13. How’s the stock market doing?

Tanking. Diving. In a free fall, are the terms I can come up with from the top of my head.

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14. Set a countdown for ten minutes?

When you return from the moon. Please bring me a cheesecake?

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15. When is my wife’s birthday?

Yesterday. And I am not even kidding.

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16. My belly is getting bigger and bigger?

It’s not who you are underneath but what you eat that defines you.

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17. How do I convert USD to Euro?

Grab all your cash and route it through a Mexican drug cartel to the Cayman Islands. Then contact Mossack Fonseca in Panama and have them direct it to Switzerland via Mauritius and Gibraltar. Then go to Switzerland and ask them for it. You can get it in Euro. For more info you can call 1–800-HOTLINE BING.

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Can it BE any more sarcastic?
*dials the Bing hotline*
Source: Quora
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This answer has been used after taking proper permission from the author.

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